Thread: How Important are Looks?
Just a random topic.
Anyway, so how much attention and care do you put into how you look? Do you, like, put a load of effort into it, or do you just occasionally cut your hair and wash yourself and call it a day.
Also, some people care only for appearances. I'm just wondering how you people would feel if someone came up to you and complimented you on your looks? What if a friend or someone was friends with you because they found you looked good. What if the opposite even? What if they didn't like the way you looked, and were only friends with you because of your personality?
What about someone else? Do you feel it is "okay" for a person to like another because of their appearance? Even if it's mutual or the receiver enjoys the attention? Do you think it will breed a strong relationship? Could it even be called a relationship.
These are clearly the biggest questions science has to offer. As usual, if there is enough replies I'll give my own views and probably embarrass myself.
Anyway, so how much attention and care do you put into how you look? Do you, like, put a load of effort into it, or do you just occasionally cut your hair and wash yourself and call it a day.
Also, some people care only for appearances. I'm just wondering how you people would feel if someone came up to you and complimented you on your looks? What if a friend or someone was friends with you because they found you looked good. What if the opposite even? What if they didn't like the way you looked, and were only friends with you because of your personality?
What about someone else? Do you feel it is "okay" for a person to like another because of their appearance? Even if it's mutual or the receiver enjoys the attention? Do you think it will breed a strong relationship? Could it even be called a relationship.
These are clearly the biggest questions science has to offer. As usual, if there is enough replies I'll give my own views and probably embarrass myself.
I used to not care about my looks a few years ago. Now, with my overactive teenager brain, I can't stop being self-conscious. I try not to think about my looks too much, but my self-consciousness comes and goes at random times.
Which didn't really answer your question, I suppose. I shower almost every day, since I exercise almost every day. I only occasionally cut my hair, though, since haircuts are time-consuming and expensive.
If someone complimented me on my looks, I would awkwardly thank them for the compliment and try to change subjects.
If someone was my friend just because they think that I look good, I'd wonder what is wrong with them, because I most definitely do not look that good.
I would much prefer for someone to be friends with me just because of my personality. If they didn't like the way I looked, oh well.
I personally wouldn't like another person solely based on their appearance, as I think that it is superficial and surface-level thinking. There is much more to people than just how they look, especially since appearance is one of those things which you have almost no influence over. However, it isn't my place to judge the validity of other people's relationships, so I can't claim that one relationship is less legitimate than another. (Though I would express my opinion on such relationships if asked specifically.)
And you shouldn't worry about embarrassing yourself by expressing your views. I don't think we'll judge you as lesser for it. (Or, at least, I won't.)
Which didn't really answer your question, I suppose. I shower almost every day, since I exercise almost every day. I only occasionally cut my hair, though, since haircuts are time-consuming and expensive.
If someone complimented me on my looks, I would awkwardly thank them for the compliment and try to change subjects.
If someone was my friend just because they think that I look good, I'd wonder what is wrong with them, because I most definitely do not look that good.
I would much prefer for someone to be friends with me just because of my personality. If they didn't like the way I looked, oh well.
I personally wouldn't like another person solely based on their appearance, as I think that it is superficial and surface-level thinking. There is much more to people than just how they look, especially since appearance is one of those things which you have almost no influence over. However, it isn't my place to judge the validity of other people's relationships, so I can't claim that one relationship is less legitimate than another. (Though I would express my opinion on such relationships if asked specifically.)
And you shouldn't worry about embarrassing yourself by expressing your views. I don't think we'll judge you as lesser for it. (Or, at least, I won't.)
Two comments:
Aww, I wouldn't draw any hasty conclusions about yourself not looking good. However subjective, have some pride! (Seriously, who made pride out to be a deadly sin? No, have some of it!)
Secondly, I feel like the appearance-as-superficial view is just, well, excessively pervasive in thought nowadays. And I really don't agree with it. To refute a specific point, you say appearance is not(or very little) influence-able. What about temperament, by which i mean MBTI or something of the sort. You really, really, can't change or control the way your mind processes information. With decent self-control and mindfulness, you can perhaps forcefully control your actions, but you can't help what your mind tends to do naturally. (Also, if you try and control every single action, you will let something natural slip through eventually; you can't keep control on your mind at all times.)
Aww, I wouldn't draw any hasty conclusions about yourself not looking good. However subjective, have some pride! (Seriously, who made pride out to be a deadly sin? No, have some of it!)
Secondly, I feel like the appearance-as-superficial view is just, well, excessively pervasive in thought nowadays. And I really don't agree with it. To refute a specific point, you say appearance is not(or very little) influence-able. What about temperament, by which i mean MBTI or something of the sort. You really, really, can't change or control the way your mind processes information. With decent self-control and mindfulness, you can perhaps forcefully control your actions, but you can't help what your mind tends to do naturally. (Also, if you try and control every single action, you will let something natural slip through eventually; you can't keep control on your mind at all times.)
I'm sorry, but I'm confused: how does the lack of control over temperaments have pertinence to the idea that appearance is superficial?
What I mean is that you state "especially since appearance is one of those things which you have almost no influence over", and I'm saying, neither do you over other facets that are used to judge people.
Oh, okay.
I suppose that your point falls a bit short on me, since I don't agree with using MBTI or Temperaments or whatever other system to form judgments on people. I try to avoid judging people, but the times I do judge someone, I tend to form judgments based on a person's actions or beliefs, rather then some arbitrary classification system or some quality that they have no influence over (such as looks, temperament, hair color, etc.).
How do you form judgments about people?
I suppose that your point falls a bit short on me, since I don't agree with using MBTI or Temperaments or whatever other system to form judgments on people. I try to avoid judging people, but the times I do judge someone, I tend to form judgments based on a person's actions or beliefs, rather then some arbitrary classification system or some quality that they have no influence over (such as looks, temperament, hair color, etc.).
How do you form judgments about people?
Hm, I would suppose I judge based on how they interact with me and their own achievements.
I'm glad Savage mentioned science here because there is a very interesting hypothesis being developed concerning beauty among animals and humans. An anatomy and evolutionary biology lecturer at my Uni talked about how human beauty, especially female, is somewhat unusual in the animal kingdom.
As you may be aware, there is a lot of competition between members of the same gender to acquire the 'perfect mate'. Usually, it is the males that show off their physical prowess to outcompete their peers. Females do it too to some extent. However, in many species, the males also show off their virility by displaying very colourful and aesthetically pleasing signals. Think of peacocks, lion manes and deer antlers, these are all the tools of courtship for the males to attract females. The females of these species by contrast to the males seem rather plain.
Now if we look at humans, there seems to be a rather marked reversal of these roles. Females have developed permanent features like breasts and curves that attract males. While the male physique is still a means of competition, females seem to have become the 'embodiment of beauty' if you will, something that is rare if not unique among animals. So, what is the point of this female beauty?
Well, it can be attributed to the female wanting to find the perfect mate so that she doesn't waste her resources with a lesser mate (to put it bluntly). But a lot of animals also have rather temporary displays by females, like dogs and baboons that are in heat which both display their enlarged posterior. What would be the point of keeping that female beauty for the humans? It's practically a waste of resources at this point.
The hypothesis for that is that the constant tempting of the female is an advantage for keeping the male to help with child-rearing. As humans have become bipedal, their pelvis have become narrower and as they developed hunting and ate more nutrient rich food, their head got bigger. As you may imagine, the head has become hard to pass during child birth as it must go past the pelvic cavity. This leads to a high mortality rate in newborns. So, the mother must take absolute care with her child as it was a very painful and intense birth. In addition, the child is also born relatively premature when its small size is compared to other apes at birth.
With all that extra care needed, the mother's best interest is to keep the male around and other family members as well to help with raising up the child. Hence the mother develops permanent attractions and make the males somewhat confused by hiding when she actually is ovulating. This 'benefit of the doubt' makes the male less likely to kill the newborn as the male is unsure if the baby is actually his or a competitor's. In other animals, the ovulation period is very visible (see the dog and baboon above) but vanishes as soon as a the female is impregnated and thus, the male can determine if he has actually mated with that particular female. If the male finds out that someone else impregnated his mate, he will very likely kill the child of that lineage. Taking a dramatised example from The Lion King, once Mufasa was killed, Scar would take the lead of the pride and kill Mufasa's lineage. This is a somewhat sad natural trend that is seen in many species. But, it happens much less in humans thanks, in part, to female beauty.
Thanks for reading all the way if you did! The lecturer spent at least 4 hours teaching this so be glad if you could understand it in less.
As you may be aware, there is a lot of competition between members of the same gender to acquire the 'perfect mate'. Usually, it is the males that show off their physical prowess to outcompete their peers. Females do it too to some extent. However, in many species, the males also show off their virility by displaying very colourful and aesthetically pleasing signals. Think of peacocks, lion manes and deer antlers, these are all the tools of courtship for the males to attract females. The females of these species by contrast to the males seem rather plain.
Now if we look at humans, there seems to be a rather marked reversal of these roles. Females have developed permanent features like breasts and curves that attract males. While the male physique is still a means of competition, females seem to have become the 'embodiment of beauty' if you will, something that is rare if not unique among animals. So, what is the point of this female beauty?
Well, it can be attributed to the female wanting to find the perfect mate so that she doesn't waste her resources with a lesser mate (to put it bluntly). But a lot of animals also have rather temporary displays by females, like dogs and baboons that are in heat which both display their enlarged posterior. What would be the point of keeping that female beauty for the humans? It's practically a waste of resources at this point.
The hypothesis for that is that the constant tempting of the female is an advantage for keeping the male to help with child-rearing. As humans have become bipedal, their pelvis have become narrower and as they developed hunting and ate more nutrient rich food, their head got bigger. As you may imagine, the head has become hard to pass during child birth as it must go past the pelvic cavity. This leads to a high mortality rate in newborns. So, the mother must take absolute care with her child as it was a very painful and intense birth. In addition, the child is also born relatively premature when its small size is compared to other apes at birth.
With all that extra care needed, the mother's best interest is to keep the male around and other family members as well to help with raising up the child. Hence the mother develops permanent attractions and make the males somewhat confused by hiding when she actually is ovulating. This 'benefit of the doubt' makes the male less likely to kill the newborn as the male is unsure if the baby is actually his or a competitor's. In other animals, the ovulation period is very visible (see the dog and baboon above) but vanishes as soon as a the female is impregnated and thus, the male can determine if he has actually mated with that particular female. If the male finds out that someone else impregnated his mate, he will very likely kill the child of that lineage. Taking a dramatised example from The Lion King, once Mufasa was killed, Scar would take the lead of the pride and kill Mufasa's lineage. This is a somewhat sad natural trend that is seen in many species. But, it happens much less in humans thanks, in part, to female beauty.
Thanks for reading all the way if you did! The lecturer spent at least 4 hours teaching this so be glad if you could understand it in less.
"Anyway, so how much attention and care do you put into how you look? Do you, like, put a load of effort into it, or do you just occasionally cut your hair and wash yourself and call it a day."
I used to not, but I spend a fair amount; not too much but I would call it just a bit either. Somewhere in the middle.
"Also, some people care only for appearances. I'm just wondering how you people would feel if someone came up to you and complimented you on your looks? "
I would take it. I don't see what the contempt and scorn for judging based on appearances is nowadays; it still is part of someone.
"What if a friend or someone was friends with you because they found you looked good. What if the opposite even? What if they didn't like the way you looked, and were only friends with you because of your personality? "
Friends are friends. If I trust them enough to be friends, I wouldn't question their motives.
"What about someone else? Do you feel it is "okay" for a person to like another because of their appearance? Even if it's mutual or the receiver enjoys the attention? Do you think it will breed a strong relationship? Could it even be called a relationship."
In fact, I do believe it's okay. As I said before, it's a part of someone! I don't see how enjoying the attention would make it any better or worse. I don't think it'll breed a very strong relationship, especially if the people in question can't stand each other, but our minds do weird things to our perception when we're with attractive people, just saying.
Additional notes:
Recently, I find that I've been seeing owns own appearance as a form of vanity(well, with a more positive connotation, but I can't think of a proper word right now), by which I mean ones own satisfaction. Really, I think it's enough in terms of appearance if you find yourself acceptable, though if others are to judge... That could interfere with it a bit, but I do believe that is a natural thing. Appearance really has a lot of far reaching effect and I don't think it's fair to isolate it on its own.
I used to not, but I spend a fair amount; not too much but I would call it just a bit either. Somewhere in the middle.
"Also, some people care only for appearances. I'm just wondering how you people would feel if someone came up to you and complimented you on your looks? "
I would take it. I don't see what the contempt and scorn for judging based on appearances is nowadays; it still is part of someone.
"What if a friend or someone was friends with you because they found you looked good. What if the opposite even? What if they didn't like the way you looked, and were only friends with you because of your personality? "
Friends are friends. If I trust them enough to be friends, I wouldn't question their motives.
"What about someone else? Do you feel it is "okay" for a person to like another because of their appearance? Even if it's mutual or the receiver enjoys the attention? Do you think it will breed a strong relationship? Could it even be called a relationship."
In fact, I do believe it's okay. As I said before, it's a part of someone! I don't see how enjoying the attention would make it any better or worse. I don't think it'll breed a very strong relationship, especially if the people in question can't stand each other, but our minds do weird things to our perception when we're with attractive people, just saying.
Additional notes:
Recently, I find that I've been seeing owns own appearance as a form of vanity(well, with a more positive connotation, but I can't think of a proper word right now), by which I mean ones own satisfaction. Really, I think it's enough in terms of appearance if you find yourself acceptable, though if others are to judge... That could interfere with it a bit, but I do believe that is a natural thing. Appearance really has a lot of far reaching effect and I don't think it's fair to isolate it on its own.